Shut your mouth and pull the rope!

I just passed by a cover of a magazine that said "Sofia Vergara: spotted cheating in Rome; divorce awaits". My initial reaction was wow, a woman can have all the fame and success in the world and still be hungry for something else. That emptiness comes from a hole inside us. Sure, you can have materialistic things and still be unhappy. If you are happy from the Dunya (worldly affairs), Allah (God) will not provide you with everlasting happiness. Sure, I don't pray five times day. I don't follow every rule. I do not wear hijab. These are all steps towards his path and that is his purpose; I believe. However, even without all these necessary precautions, I am aware that the Dunya is temporary. I should keep myself in a daily reminder that "everything will be ok, if I focus on him and my main priorities". I believe, to god, you are far more valuable as a believer than to someone who graduated with a 4.0, drives a Porsche, and never even mentions allahs name. One must always challenge themselves to be better than their past generation. As a result, a higher quality of life for children is developed. However, my main point of today's blog is to promote the construction of character. I have recently been told by a co-worker, "Well, you are 22 years old, you should get your life together. You friend graduated, that should of been you". These are the people who are miserable and want to bring others down with them. One must not judge another. For example, I have cousins and friends who have had children under 21 yrs old. Guess what? That works for them. I physically and mentally know I am not prepared for that. So I make the decesion to avoid that at all costs. So does that make them "bad" compared to me? No. Everyone has their own priorities in life; whether that is starting a family, focusing solely on their career, or being a housewive/mom etc. The choice is on the person. "Live life by design", said a wonderful psychotherapist. Make the decesions that will lead to your self-fufillment. Whenever others influence such decesions, emptiness arises. That leads me back to Sofia cheating. How do we know if she really wanted to be married in the first place? What if she was promiscuous all her life and tried to redeem herself through marriage? We don't know these behind the scenes decesions. Never judge someone else's. The best way to approach someone talking bad about others is, "I don't know, that is his/her decesion. Whether I agree with it or not should not influence their life or mine. Fortunately, I have improved my character and have come a long way. It took being married, seperated, and re-united to really go through the transformation. Although, it is not perfect, it's heading towards a good path. I learned that my family structure has had a major influence on my life. I once too was a part of the "negative down talkers". I also was very lost at the time of marrying young. However, for every loss there is a gain. A struggle is a blessing in disguise. It takes the right moment and people to bring a positive out of a situation or problem. Maybe a person such as Sofia, messed up. She cheated. She probably won't ever do it again or will decide to stay single. The point is to be true to yourself. I want to touch a little more on my transformation. I just want to point out that I stay away from people who do not benefit my growth. This can even be my own parents at times. It's not bad. It means that I have learned to stay in a positive bubble. I have learned to not let others influence me negatively. A simple "why are you working so hard for a man that doesn't deserve you?" statement can really drive me nuts from anyone. The best thing to do is to stay away from negative people and environments. Also bring in positive people, keep them around, appreciate them. I have some amazing friends and I brought them closer to me by being there for them. A listening ear is the best gift you can give. Rewards are immense from this simple practice of distancing negativity and pulling positivity like a rope. One can only go up by looking at negativity from afar and going up to the top with upbeat people. Picture this scene. Now make it happen!!!